In today's episode, we will be discussing Community and how it affects our everyday lives. Join us as we discuss the life of community and community that can help us and the next generation.
In today's episode, we will be discussing Community and how it affects our everyday lives.
Building a solid community can be difficult to achieve. We live in a westernized culture where business is the norm and where people are told to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps.
We live in a culture where loneliness and isolation are not only due to low self-esteem and lack of confidence but to choices made to mask transparency and authenticity.
Join us as we discuss the life of community and community that can help us and the next generation.
yo, yo, yo, what's up fam? This is your boy Joaquin, and welcome the truth serum. Um, in today's episode, we will be discussing community and how it affects our everyday lives. Um, building solid community can be difficult to achieve. We live in a westernized culture. Where business is the norm and where people are told to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps.
We live in a culture where loneliness and isolation are not only due to low self esteem and lack of confidence, but the choice is made to mask transparency and authenticity. Um, so I am joined today with my cohost, uh, Brittany, Nathan, and Aaron. So what's up fam? How ya guys doing today? Man, we're doing good, man.
Just chilling out here, man. New year, 2020 and so man, we're just trying to man be striving for greatness. I guess that boy Aaron is like new year, new me in this piece. You already know
Beat things, pop in, little things stopping. I remember that song. Don't you just dated yourself? But it's all good.
It's all good. So Nathan, Brittany, man, I'm good. Um, it's been a super good day. I'm grateful. You know, doing me, stop
doing me like, Oh my gosh, man, it's still working on my puzzle. Britney. Britney was working on her puzzle. Y'all like filling it. The episode has past opportunities fast. Cool. Cool man. Y'all are crazy. All right Charles. So let's push through. So, um, Oh my fault. Nathan, what's going on? How are you been?
Apparently nothing cause you're moving on by bed. Yeah. So, uh, you know, is your friendly neighborhood local hero here? Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Strapping up bro with the spider senses. Yeah. So. Now, things were going well, you know, definitely, uh, things going well with work and the many side projects that I have going on.
I think all of that's going good. So, uh, yeah, new year. New me. Cool, man. Cool. Not really, but I'm just busy, man. The last episode that you said that you were like trying to learn how to write a book, like, have you ever started, have you started writing the book yet? Oh, uh, I have a. Yeah, I have a 39,585 words, so I'm pretty much done with the book.
Oh, was books around 40,000 words, man. Congratulations, man. Yeah, thanks. Congratulate me when it comes out. All right, so that's what's up. All right. When it drab. All right, man. So now we're pressing forward. Um, so, and, um, so just want to kind of let you guys know, um, man. Oh. And for my listeners out there, I have experienced in the past, uh, two years, um, at the serving with the young adult ministry that, um, community has become a major, major issue.
I mean, when it comes to friendships, relationships, dating, marriage, I mean, whatever, it has become like a huge deal. Like, um. Like, my Cohoes know this, but for my listeners out there, we took two surveys asking what are young adults struggling with the most and, uh, both years. And then for the past two years, both years, the number one struggle for young adults was community.
Like, I've had plenty of conversations with people and this is literally a legit problem, yo. So why is this such a problem? I mean, like, like what's going on. So I think the first that came to mind was, this is a problem because we live in a post fall world. Um, and no, I'm serious. For the Madden, one of the most critical things that was impacted by the followed relationships and community immediately once, you know, once I say, do you send issue of all, notice your phone noise.
You know what I mean? And so we, I think community has been fractured from the get go. Um. And that's why it's hard because we, we're working against, you know, our own weaknesses. We're going against our own pride and failure in sin and the sin around . Just just to piggy back off of Brittany, when you talk about post-fall and I think about why, why do we have this problem in community?
I think about honesty. I think about transparency, I think about when you look at Adam and Eve, how they were naked and unashamed, and then they go and hide themselves from each other and from God. So I think when you look at community and relationships now, I think you see a, um, just a, a lack of transparency, honesty, and openness with one another.
Yeah. I would just say as time has progressed in different cultures. As it progresses and every culture is different, but as time has progressed, we've become more individualized. There's been more highlights on just me when, uh, previously, uh, many different cultures where it was about the tribe, right? It was about the tribe.
It was about all of us. Let's work together to accomplish a common goal. We see emphasis, especially in America, more so about the individual. It is about me. It's about what I think it's about what I want. It's about my opinions. A, me, me, me is being pushed above and individuality is being pushed above pretty much the common good.
There's almost no such thing as common. Good. Everybody has their own definitions and thoughts. And not to say that you can't have individual value, but there's just being stripped away. And in some cases, uh. Creating something that people think they could even survive without community. That's good. I mean, I'll get back to this later, but I'll just make this quick comment.
When I went on a mission trip to Ghana, West Africa, somebody literally in the village said, Oh, you go, you all live in America. America has many things, and it seems like it's a great country, but I would never live there. Wow. Because you all don't even know your neighbors. Wow. Wow. And if you think about it, kinda kind of have a point.
We went from communities that, you know, your neighbor, can I borrow a cup of sugar? If I asked for a cup of sugar from my neighbor, they're probably gonna get offended that I went over there. Car Uber eats. Would you call me fo? It's the cars. Why are you calling me? For sure, but we can come back to that later.
Now, man, I'm, I'm, for me, a community was shaped by seeing other relationships. So like, you know, uh, when I saw the relationship between my mom and my dad, you know, my community was formed there. You know, I thought community was a thing of. You know, good relationships and also broken relationships. I've never really had a growing up.
I mean, I never really had a solid, you know, definition of what community was. No, because I think society has actually changed the definition of community of what it actually should be. Like I'm in a book, um, by Dustin Willis called life and community. One of the things that he said was, was that society says that community is not being in proximity with someone as long as I have that connection.
So having the ability to connect with people or, um. Without being in physical proximity of each other, can someone have a dehumanizing effect on our culture today? So with that being said, man, I'm and thank you guys for your responses. I think they were all dope and awesome. Um, so let's try to define for our listeners, like what is community specifically?
I mean, because I know it can be defined in different ways, so, so what are your thoughts on that? Like what is community specifically. I think on an essential level, community is about togetherness. Um, it's about people who are together because of some sort of commonality. So even like. C O. M M. U. N. like, I just am thinking about the etymology of the word.
Um, and like the, the origin of the word, like, I'm not 100% sure about this, but this commune and calm men, you know, there's a, there's a commonality that's bringing people together, unity, togetherness. And so some sort of common thing bringing people. Together, there can be community around sports, community at Brown, different hobbies and interests and obviously community around face.
Now that's dope. Cause I remember hearing Matt sheller speak on this about community and he was saying that it's funny that even people that don't want to be around community. Form a community with people that don't want to be in community. So like, so like, you know, community, community, kind of like basic, right, right, right, right.
Community kind of basically finds, kind of finds you and you don't really find it. Like, then what you think, what is community. Well, I won't even get to the specific definition. I think you all are pretty close to the most common definition we would well, close to the most. Yeah. Let me, let me finish the sentence.
Most, most close to the most common definition everyone is familiar with. That's what I meant. So, uh, in terms of community, it's almost like you, at least you're born into, you don't really have a choice of it. To some degree, like you're, you're born into some type of community, but like you said, uh, your unique experiences will shape if you have a positive, you know, thought of community or it turns negative.
Or if you choose to stay in the very community in which you were first introduced, or you're like, I can't wait until I get out of this and find something else. So it starts to shape your overall perspective. Well, how you view the word or think it's even valuable, or, you know, may say to even yourself community, I don't need anybody, your early experiences with community that you're automatically put in in one, well, somewhat shape, how you individually define that, but I think, you know, as I mentioned earlier, what you all said already pretty much captures the definition.
Yeah. Yeah. And I even think with that, I think it's also, and I think what we kind of said already is this building relationships with one another, um, and living life with one another. I mean, me moving six or seven times, which I didn't say in the beginning, but I moved seven times before I went to college.
So you talk about what is community, and I think that's where we kind of get into, people have different experiences with community. And so, and to say that somehow. When it comes to community, some are subject to what they believe in. What is community. Um, even just with my experience, it's just really building relationships with one another and also living life with them daily.
Um, and I think about commune being with people. Um, and so now coming into a society where you know, a lot of, a lot more people are. One technology in are using more tech, technological things compared to being with others? Um, yeah, I think we're just in a different place. No, man. Uh, thank you. Thank you guys for that.
I really appreciate it, man. Um, it seems that, yeah. What's up Brittany? What's up? I think that different people have different ideas that come to mind when they hear the word community. So once I asked a friend, what's your community like. And she said, what? And I'm pretty sure that what she heard was, who do you live around?
What's your neighborhood like? And what I, what I told her was when I said community, I meant who's around you, supporting you? Who's, who's pouring into you, who's taking care of you, where you're getting strength and encouragement from. So I think sometimes, especially as people of faith in Jesus, we. Think about community in a really specific way.
That's not necessarily across the board. No, no. Um, I agree with that. And, um, that definitely takes me to my next point of like, is there some type of subjectivity in community because I, I hear some similarities between us, but I also hear some differences, you know, because, um, like for instance, here's a story for me.
When I got to college, when I got out of college, um, I knew a lot of, no. Types of people I knew, like, you know, the assistant superintendent of his D, I knew his wife was a lawyer. Um, you know, um, we also knew like, you know, other types of doctors and people like that, of that caliber. And so. But coming out of college, you know, I would just think community was just coming to my house, playing the video game and just sitting down, chopping it up about sports or whatever the case it may be.
You know, we would just chill at the house, you know? So, um, so what do you guys think? I mean, is there some form of subjectivity and and community? I just gave a recent. You know, definition of what, you know, my life was growing up was saying that community was actually shaped by the relationship that I saw growing up.
So what about you guys? I mean, like, um, how, how, like the question is, um, how does community. Relate to you specifically? Like how did you know about community specifically? Well, let me clarify this. So when you say community, are we, we just have a community in general? No, like, like, well, not necessarily in general, because one of the things that we were doing, we were basically talking about.
Community and how, and the differences between what community could be. Even Brittany May made the same numb, made the same deal too, right? The, where community can be different for different people because everybody has, you know, um, an expectation of what community should be. Right. So what is your specific expectation based on how community was shaped for your life?
Yeah. Thank you for clarifying. Yeah, no problem. For the listeners out there. Yeah, no. So you know, when you were saying community, what, what just kept coming to mind was tribe. And the reason I'm saying Shrive is communities tend to have certain characteristics, and then you introduce, uh, morals. That are in there or rules different communities have, and when you have morals and rules, it's just people started learning how things are supposed to go in the community.
And you've already spoke to this, but I just want to highlight it. When people see that they assume this is how it's supposed to be for everything, which is not necessarily true. But getting back to the heart of your question, at least for me. Uh, a lot of things that I saw in community, same thing. Things are supposed to go like this.
Like one characteristic would be, uh, Hey, if I give you something, I respect you to give me the same courtesy in return. So if I do something nice for you, uh, not that I want it right now. I expect that you would be willing to do something nice for me, you know, reciprocity or, you know, mutual exchange or whatever you want to call it.
Um, I would expect that, so these ideas are getting formed in that community. You shape, this is how it is, but when you get up and go to college or even work sometimes, and other places you hit in the face with this community doesn't have that rule or that moral or that's correct. And you're like, well, you may ask yourself, why doesn't it have it?
Yeah. Maybe I should introduce it, or you may say, why doesn't it have it? Okay, what are the new rules I need to learn here? And then a crucial thing happens. You start to wonder, based on the community I'm entering at the moment, was my past experience with community even valuable to help me in the future.
You start to ask yourself that, and that looks. Different in many ways. Um, I want to say more, but I'm gonna kick it to other people, but I didn't want to at least say that. Just to highlight. I guess you could say this collision of ideals that happens when you go to a new community. I'll say more, but I want, I want to hear from other people too.
Aaron, what'd you think, man? I mean, I think when it comes to expectations or just community in general, I think about people. I think we act. Think about those inside community. So first thing that comes to my mind is family. Um, you talk about intermediate family. Who is there. When you think about the grandfather, the father, and maybe the son or the grandmother, the mother and the daughter.
I think about those three instances, and not only just that, but them point in wisdom and, and providing encouragement to one another. Um, I think in community and even the expectations and community are very, um, I would say silence. You don't know the expectations of community. So for example, I guess. For some, it could be, you know, we encourage one another, but in another community I was like, Oh, why don't y'all encourage people?
But it's like, because they've never been in a society in a community like that. It's just, they don't really encourage people. They don't, they don't love them. People, they don't provide wisdom. So I think when it comes to community, not only as a family, but I think it's those inside of the tribe, inside of the community that actually pours in wisdom or encourages who loves people, um, inside their community.
Brittany, what about you? Serious, what do you, uh, what do you, what is, what are the expectations of community and, um, how has that affect you individually? So when I left college, I joined a church in Atlanta and we from making y'all, so Atlanta was like, Oh, but like maybe like an hour North for me represent.
So we, we actually had a really, really strong community at that church and that became my expectation that people are gonna. Look out for you, call you, talk to you. They're going to be honest with you. They're going to tell you about how they're really doing. You can tell them they're going to pray for you.
They're gonna encourage you. They're going to do the one another's. They're just, they're gonna have your back. And that was my expectation when I went overseas. Um, my expectation was completely shattered. And I realized for the first time that there are people, even people who are also Christians who don't.
Have the same experience or expectations, and sometimes even the same desires for community with other people, and it was very devastating. Uh, and there were some cultural differences in there too. Um, when I got back, uh, and returned to that same community, eventually I moved to another city and even, which is Houston, um, even here at crossover, my community here is very different, primarily because.
There's not an emphasis on living in proximity of one another, but in my last years I was, and so people tended to live pretty close. And so when I wanted to see you or come over for you to see me or come over, you would be within about 10 or 15 minutes of where I am. And this wasn't for everybody, but kind of the general.
And now I have friends. I'm in Houston and Houston is one of the most sprawled city on earth. Um, and my friends live 45 minutes away. My church is like nearly an hour away. And so to have things so spread out. Puts a strain for me on connecting deeply with people in a face to face type of way. Um, and I remember reading this book by Bonhoeffer, Dietrich Bonhoeffer.
It's called life together. If you haven't read it. Read it today. It's a really short book, but it's powerful. And he mentioned this idea of idealism and how idealism can destroy a community, how people's expectations and what they think is supposed to be there and are supposed to do can completely destroy things because it's not real and it's generally selfish.
And so dealing with what's in front of you and loving and serving the people in front of you in the ways that you can is going to be the most. Productive way to think about community. No. Um, thank you for that Brittany. Uh, life and community by Destin. Willis talks a lot. Yup. Yup, yup. Yeah, I got ya. Yeah.
Different book, um, on life and community by Destin. Willis talks a lot about that as well, especially about being especially, uh, authentic about yourself and being honest with other people about who you are. Um, so no, thank you for that plug. I really appreciate it. I need to read that book now. Thank you.
So, um, so with that being said, we just. We just talked about the similarities of what, of what community is, we talked about the differences of what community is. Now we need to move from individual to more so cultural. So like in the Western society, you know, I don't think we can get pretty far today talking about community without having a conversation about technology.
So like, you know, so how has technology shaped new ways to communicate with other people. Nate, you haven't talked in a while. I'm supposed to. Hey, he said, he said, technology question. Let me give it to the technology guy. All of those who know technology, you know, you cannot run away. People are going to call you for to help them set up an iPhone or something or answer a question about technology and community.
A no, but, um, again, a lot of people think so. Well, some, not a lot of people, but some people feel that. You know, technology takes away genuineness. Technology will be the death of us. We watch too much TV. We don't pay attention to certain things. But honestly, again, technology really just emphasizes those things that are already there.
And a lot of technological advancements were put into place with good thoughts and good reasoning. But. It's us as individuals who take it to the extreme and then, uh, have an adverse effect of the original intended benefit. Specifically the phone. Hey, I don't wanna write you letters anymore. I don't wanna write you telegrams anymore, you know, let, yeah, I don't want to do Morse code or whatever it is anymore, or smoke signals.
I want to do all of that, you know? Um. I, I can't, I can't, you know, I can't go down and you're dealing with a smoke signal. That makes no sense. You're like, somebody else responds to this, supposed sending you like, not you like that one over there. Like, not you, but, um, but, but again, early communication, telegram, I don't want to do some more, Hey, we could actually put voice in a current, and then.
At the receiving end. Let the voice come out so you can talk to one another. So gr great invention. Uh, but then fast forward, some people spent all their time talking on the phone, not even around the people that are most closest to them or even worse. Uh, we have more technological advancements, but you don't use a phone to contact family members who are at a distance.
Now that it's easier, uh, you use a phone to do other things. Again, smartphone, you have a smart phone. The, the bathroom thing that we tend to see with it is people are at, uh, an event where you can interact with people, but they just on their phone the whole time, and I mentioned it earlier, the whole, now it's about individual.
This communication device is for me to do what I want to do. Not necessarily to talk to somebody. Oh, why is that? But again, I think technology really just starts out good. But ultimately we take it to. Sometimes Sylvis intention. We could even talk about social media. I remember when Facebook first came out, when Facebook, you had to vote to get your school on it, and it was really about colleges and community, and you can sell books to one another and tell people, buy a class.
Then they opened it up to everybody and it just started becoming toxic. Yeah. But again, the original intent. Seems positive, but we take it and we run with it. And when, when we run with it with communication like that, it can just get off. And that's just something that we all have to be aware of. And if you're not intentional about how you're communicating with someone with technology involved, you'll see more so that.
Rather than technology being something that can enhance community or keeping in touch with people or whatever it might be, it can become a distraction, uh, or it can become something that is viewed in a negative light rather than a positive light. And I don't know about y'all, but tons tells people to tell me a man.
I, you know, I took a break from social media cause I, I had to get off, but you weren't taking a break from genuine community. You had taken a break from some of the toxic things I'm alluding to. So, yeah. Man. Um, so, uh, Aaron, uh, what do you think, man, how has technology shaped some of the new ways to, uh, communicate with each other?
Um, I think technology has allowed us to communicate, uh, a lot more than we used to. Um, for example, I think Nate did a great job when he was talking about letters. Took a long time to get to someone. Yeah. Then you had an email. Then even probably before that you had an instant message, right? Uh, you had a beeper.
You had a cell phone. Um, now you have social media from, you had Facebook, you have Twitter. You had vine nine seconds, you had, um, Instagram. Yeah. Vine. If you know about that, you have Snapchat, right? You have so many other, um, avenues of social media of how you can't communicate with one another. And I believe those things are very, very good.
Um. However, with that, I also do believe, I think it has, it has made us not know how to talk to one another. Um, just because we're on our phone, we communicate by way of texting, but when it comes to talking to someone right across from us, we may not know how to do that. So now I'm going to go there, but instead of asking a woman out, yo, we're going to slide in her DMS.
Instead. Um, let's swipe. Look. Oh, swipe left. Hey, I don't know. I don't know. It's new for me. Uh, yeah, that is, that's a new one. Is it? Swipe left or swipe left. Bang. Right. Good. Okay. Okay. There you go. Which I just want to point out. Left is bad ass. Left-handers don't feel good about that. Okay. Okay. Well, you know me totally.
Well, I just go and ask a just for you, just for your clarification, but anyways, but I think it has allowed. It has because of these things, it has not allowed us to be able to communicate different, different things and be able to talk to one another. I think talking to one another sometimes is more beneficial than being on social media and doing technology.
Um, and I even think about the home when it talks, when you talk about technology and you haven't devices. And I think when it comes to eating, for example, instead of. Eating instead of just eating together and talking with one another, we'll just be there and we'll have our phones out. We'll have the devices out and we won't be able to know how to talk to one another because we've been communicating by a device for so long.
And I think it has, like I said, I think technology has done a wonderful us, but I think technology however, has kind of handicapped us also when it comes to, um. Communicating well with one another. No, that's good, Aaron. Because, um, uh, because I'm actually, uh, reading this book, it's called the tech wise family.
Um, it's by Andy crouch. Really good book, um, about technology and the in like the, the harsh reality of. No technology and, um, how we should really limit it for our lives to be more creative. Um, and one of the things that he says in the book, he says, increasingly our lives have been colonized by things that don't just help us accomplish a task, but do the task for us.
And so, like, you know, so like when you say, uh, that technology has kind of a. Crippled us in the sense of whatnot. I think that's important because if we're not careful, I think technology can become a crutch versus become versus versus the actual help that it should be. And, um, you know, I think, uh, we should be leaning more so on each other, and I think, uh, and I think, uh.
I'm sorry. Yeah. I think, uh, you know, technology has definitely been a major, a major issue when it comes to that. So, Brittany, what's up? Uh, I want to say something real quick. The American psychological association, um, has a statement about technology. And the reason I want to read it is because I think it's really profound and will help us, um, talk about some of the implications of community.
So it says, we are tempted to give presidents to people. We are not. That's not the part I wanted to read. It's a great psychological
Can we move on. Okay. So this is a really great point by APA, American psychological association. It's a great psychological truth that if we don't teach our children how to be alone, they will always be lonely when they're always connected, children, adolescents, and adults become dependent on the presence of others for validation in the most basic ways.
When people move from, I have a feeling I want to make a call. Two, I have a feeling I need to send a text. Something unfortunate happens to their relations with others. They start to feed, they start to need other people to feel validated and they cannot approach others as full individual, differentiated people.
Rather. Other people are used as what one might think of as part objects, spare parts to support a fragile self. This good along with the whole deal of I being alone and I wanted to bring up something. So, um. Isolation and loneliness, you know, we understand that, you know, being lonely, you know, can make people feel that they have maybe a lack of self esteem, um, a lack of confidence.
But. Is it really a lack of being honest and truthful about someone's own personal personality or someone's own personal issues? Um, so here's an example. I'm, I had a conversation with a person and one of the thing that they were saying that, Hey, well, I'm an introvert, right? You know, I talked to different types of people, but you know, it was diff, definitely difficult to be able to form other, other communities even even, or.
Be a part of another community, even inside of the church body. Because a lot of times it may feel that, you know, I'm not necessarily welcome, but which is an N, which is understandable. But however, sometimes people don't even put themselves out there, you know, to be a part of, up to be a part of a community.
Um, um, I have a friend, they used to, they used to go here and whatnot. He used to call me. All the time. When I first came to crossover and I used to be like, why is this dude call me all the time? I feel like he wants to get in my business right there like that. That's how I, that's kinda how I felt. I feel like he always wants to be a part of no, like.
Who I am and wants to know, dig in. I feel like he's kind of being nosy, but at the very same time I was saying I, I want, you know, someone to be able to confide in. I want, I want to be able to talk to somebody, you know? But I wasn't really willing to be truthful and authentic with this guy that kept calling me.
Right? So like, you know, so how do we know whether the storm of dealing with self esteem and confidence versus authenticity and transparency. Okay. I think you have to be willing to take a risk. Um, I think you have to be willing to first know what a friend is. If we look at songs one 1963, a friend is someone who, um, knows God and obeys his precepts.
So if that's a friend in our community, you should be willing to take a risk on them. Now. I think sometimes we go into isolation or sometimes go away from community. It's because of some of the hurt and some of the pain that we have felt. And that is real. Um, and I even, me personally, I felt that, however, I think you have to be willing to take a risk and have faith in that, in that friend.
Such as Psalms one 1963 who loves God and obey his commandments, and you should be willing to take a risk on them because they're not going to hurt you, but if we don't, I imagine that's kind of a part of it. Yeah. You have to be willing to be hurt. Okay. That's, that is true. You do have to be willing to be her that I'll go after you with that.
Brittany, what do you think? Firstly, I'd like to say that that's true. I think about loneliness is one of the. Several human emotions. And I think our, our emotions are very much like a dashboard. Um, chip Dodd has a book called voice of the heart, and he talks about these eight emotions and how they can be keys to unlock these doors to good gifts from God, or they can be dangerous.
And the emotions themselves are not dangerous. But those emotions can lead you to a place that's not healthy and not not good. So loneliness in itself, I think it's very neutral. And it's like those, those emotions on a dashboard and they're showing us what needs attention and what's going on inside. And so when I experienced the only news, I know that nothing's wrong necessarily, but that's the inside of me letting me know, Britney, you need intimacy.
And primarily we need intimacy with God, intimate, instant, then intimacy with ourselves and intimacy with others. And so I think that that loneliness can lead to this good thing, which is intimacy. Or loneliness can lead to isolation, where I pull myself away and I say, no, I don't want to take a risk. No, I don't really want to be known because I'm afraid.
Uh, and so I do think that you do have to be willing to risk because there are no guarantees. Like life is not going to be easy. You can't control what anybody else does. Nate, what'd you think, man? Yeah. Uh, I won't be too long, but, uh, I mentioned I have to give a disclaimer. So if we were like, ah, how long are you gonna talk?
Uh, but had to get a quick disclaimer. But honestly, what, just, what comes to mind is, again, I was thinking about the difference I've spoken on about isolation versus solitude, um, after just speaking about the difference of it. And. Isolation is use occluding yourself pretty much for your own selfish reasons.
Um, it's different from solitude, which is, I'm just taking some time away to refill, recharge, but I intend to return back to community. Right. So it's okay to take a sabbatical. Or cause that implies I'm going off for a while, but I will be back. But in terms of like, Oh, I just need some time to myself and like UGA and leave, that ain't a sabbatical.
That's not like. Solitude. That's you literally abandoning community to go because you'd rather be by yourself or you being by yourself is viewed as more valuable than what others can add. Right. So again, I just wanted to highlight that because I think knowing and discerning the difference between the two can help inform what state you might be in.
So I think that's very crucial. But again, nothing wrong with solitude. Because you intend to come back to community because we as people, humans. Uh, you need community to survive. Yeah, no, absolutely, man. Um, I agree with everything you guys are saying. Um, I also want to say too that, um, I understand that self-esteem and low in, in, you know, in confidence is a very, very big issue, uh, when it comes, and only in this, because, uh, the be real, like depression is totally real and we're definitely not.
You know, excluding that at all. However, what we want to be able to, well, I want to be able to get across, is that sometimes people make choices to put themselves in loneliness and isolation. So like, you know, um, you know, if I'm not being authentic about my sin, about what's going on, how can I actually help you.
Um, how can someone actually help me with, you know, with what, with what I'm going through? How can I even get in to a solid community if I'm not going to be authentic about know my issues about what I'm going through? Um, uh, Dustin Willis in his book, life and community, um, actually says this is why do we consistently choose hypocrisy over honesty?
And he says, I think the answer is simple. And he says, fear. And it's like a lot of times because we are basically fearful of being authentic about our own issues. So therefore we don't want to let anyone else know what we've been through, a, what's going on with us. So therefore we shy away from being in community and therefore end up being so-called surface or surface level.
Surface level Christians are surface level people with others. So, um, somebody told me that, like I said earlier, that Hey, I'm an introvert or whatever, and I'm like, yo, introverts talks to people all the time, you know? And then I'll say, well, you can, well, I'm like, yo, like you can flip it. You can also flip it on the other side.
Someone could be a major, a major extrovert, right? But that person isn't honest. All you're going to have is an extroverted surface level person that you're not going to be in true, authentic and transparent community with. So, um, so I think it's really important, you know, to understand that yo, like there is a responsibility on people of both sides, right?
There's a responsibility on the church and there's also a responsibility on the people who are, you know, seeking community as well. And I think we have to make sure that we're, um, that we're interested in that also. Um, now w along with that, I think also that, um, you know, and not only with the fear of being authentic and transparent, but I think also that we have to understand that people are busy, especially young adults, right?
Because we are doing so many different things between the ages of 18 and 35 we're doing, we're buying houses, we're graduated from college, we are getting married. We're doing so many different things that, you know, we need to, that we need to do. But a lot of other people are, you know, struggling. No.
Trying to find a community because other people are actually busy, right? So as we discuss community and some of the cultural issues of what's going on in community now, we need to kind of start defining biblical community. Like, you know, how can we, you know, define that. Like, I have a definition that I can quickly give.
So like basically my definition and we had a, um. We had a Bible study, the young adults here at crossover Bible fellowship. We had a Bible study called cornea a couple of years ago. Um, you can go download it on the crossover rabbit fellowship app. Uh, and one of the things that I said, uh, when we, when we taught this Bible study was, um, we gave a godly definition or a biblical definition of what community was.
And we said, community is when believers can come together and form a special bond that models the triune God. Uh, people. Who should strive to operate in perfect unity and perfect harmony among each other. So, um, so that was the biblical definition, that biblical definition of community that we gave. So like, um, what do you, what do you, what are your, what are your thoughts on the, of what community is biblically?
So I see the Bible explaining biblical community in. Several ways with different images and analogies. So one common way is, um, Jesus talks about his people as being his flock, um, with him as the shepherd. And I'm sure there's lots that we can pull from what it means to be a flock, but it definitely means being together, um, under one leader that you're dependent on.
And then I see the image of a building, um, with Christ as the cornerstone. Um, and so this, this building, this structure. Um, that has this, this leader, this important and essential part being Jesus. Um, and then I see a family, people who are United under one father, um, and under one name with a heritage. And so there's, there's oneness in, in all of the images.
And these are only three. No, I think, uh. You know, professor Brittany, he hit it on the head. Uh, no, uh, you know, just simply put, just to add to that, all I would say is, uh, the way God has constructed things. Uh, of course, everybody has the own purpose. God uniquely shaped you for you to do specific things that he would like you to do.
Um, and in order to accomplish that, a lot of times community is needed. So. Pretty much if you're looking for your destiny, your purpose, your calling, there's no way you can do that outside of community. And community needs to be a part of that. Now, of course, that might, and this is why I said this earlier, that might clash with your previous experience, a community or something bad that happened within community, or, um, you're in a certain community now and it doesn't match up with what you're accustomed to, but regardless, uh, you will have to.
Be in community in order to accomplish those many things. So again, I know you asked specifically for a definition, but I'm more so speaking of Britney defined it well, and in order to do whatever you're called to do, community will be needed to do that. So it'd be better to embrace it rather than run away from it.
So, man, I'm so, no, thank you, Nathan. Thank you, Brittany. Thank you, Aaron, for your response. Um, so man, it's good to also have an objective look at community and I'm glad that you guys said what you said, because you guys gave a really good definition of what that looks like to be in community together and representing, you know, the triune God who is a perfect community within himself.
Um, so now with that being said, I want to go, I want to take this a step further. Action steps should we take in regards to this topic? I mean, in regard to community, like how can we help the next generation? I think one of the things that we talked about is definitely mean meeting the needs of the people.
Um, and knowing how to meet the needs of the people first. I think you have to observe and see, okay, what are, what are people struggling in and how can I serve one another and how can I love on that person? In, in the community that we're in, and then be able to meet the needs of the people in that certain community.
So I think it's being able to serve one another and love one another by meeting their needs of others. One thing we can do to support and serve our generation and the next generation is by becoming. The, the community that we want to see. So, as we know, we talked to some young adults recently, and we're not as connected as we want to be.
We don't know each other as well as we would like to. Um, we all are experiencing loneliness and disconnection. And that's how the, I think the first thing we need to do is to decide to be the example and to create the community and create the culture of community that we want other people to experience with us.
Um, and I think just like Aaron said earlier, I felt really impacted and convicted by that. We have to be willing to take risks. So to call people who didn't call us first, you know, or call somebody again who didn't call you back. You know? And I think it's like even with, you want to be the community that you want to see.
You don't invite somebody to Starbucks. You know? Everybody goes to Starbucks or invite somebody. I don't know, which I do like for example, invite them to your house to watch the game. Like you can do. I think there's simple things that you can build community if you like working out, go work out with somebody to go play ball with somebody.
And I think those little simple things that you do help build community with one another. Don't want to, yeah, I want to speak to one thing. Um, I'll say it is, if you are trying to build community or spend more time with other people or get to learn about them or you know, you have something to offer, they have something to offer you and when you all get together, you are a great team.
Whatever it might be. The thing that you might need to at least know is coming, is when you first start doing certain things, you're not going to feel genuine. You might feel fake. It might feel like a waste of time. You might think or interpret like, Hey, uh, I know I'm doing this. This is not really getting me anywhere.
But at a certain point in time, there'll be a switch from you feeling fake to it being genuine. Are you saying, man, I haven't talked to this person this week because you always talk to them on a weekly basis. So that feeling may happen, but it will go away. Why? Kim alluded to somebody who used to call him and he says, what does this person want?
Like why? They keep calling me. They're trying to get in my business. But after a while. He looked forward to the calls, or even became the person who was calling this room, man, right? So there, there's a time period where you won't feel genuine, awesome, empowered, whatever it might be. But if you keep on putting in work and investing in community, you will get a return of whatever it is that you invested in.
I mean, that's just how you formulate friendships of any kind, right? There's people who call me. And no. Normally I'm the person who calls, but then they call me back. It's like, Oh, okay. I haven't, I haven't heard from Nathan in awhile. Why something seems missing this week. Oh, I haven't talked to this person.
Or, Oh, we haven't spent time together. We haven't gone to Starbucks. I don't think Starbucks, by the way, but we haven't gone to Starbucks. By the way, Starbucks does not sponsor this podcast, so we're saying their name, but it's not an endorsement. Yeah. So, so that wasn't an endorsement, that wasn't an endorsement, but regardless.
So correct. But again, you'll feel one way, but there will be a turning point as long as you're genuine is still on. Honestly, I love that you said that because at least for me, it can feel like, man, I am reaching out to people and trying to make things happen and people not responding. And it can be very painful and discouraging.
And so just knowing that. There will be a cost to it, and the cost might be some experience of rejection, you know, and that there's hope that you can get past that and that. You will start experiencing what you're trying to create. And honestly, I mean, we have a lower tolerance for this with relationships, but we experienced it in various other ways in life when we start new things.
And it's difficult and it's Rocky, but we keep on. And so I think that was an encouragement to me to keep on. So thank you guys for that. I think, uh, it's important that we, um, also give some resources to you guys. So I'm some good resources I think is, uh, one book is called delighting in the Trinity, uh, by Michael Reeves.
It's a really good book that describes the relationships between God, the father, God, the son, and God, the Holy spirit. Um, and actually talks about more about the community between, between, um, between the triune God, also, um, life and community by Dustin Willis. I think that's a wonderful book, uh, to be able to purchase and read.
Um, I think that'll be, it'll give you some really good clarity on what community is and what should, what it should be from a biblical perspective. Also, the tech wise family, um, by, uh, Andy, Andy crouch is a really good book, um, to be able to, um, know like how tech, how you need to limit technology in order to increase the community amongst your family and an impossibly amongst others.
And, um, and a one in a couple more books is. On the block by Doug Logan. Um, basically developing a biblical picture for missional engagement. Uh, in the book he talks about basically establishing community, um, not only overseas, but how the mission field is here in your neighborhood and former community with there, even on race relations, I think a really good book.
It would be white picket fences by Amy Julia Becker, um, who talks more so about no white privilege. Um, and how, you know, we can start that conversation by forming communities with other people of different races. Um, just wanting to say, uh. Nathan, Aaron, Brittany, thank you guys so much for, uh, the podcast today.
I'm really appreciate it. Um, and if you guys have, and if you guys have any questions, please feel free to hit us up at truth underscore CBF. I'm on Instagram and, uh, we'll be totally willing, be willing to answer your questions. Um, if it's related to the podcast. Just, you know, just say it's related to the podcast.
So like, please, uh, ask us a question and we'll be there, uh, to meet your need, um, accordingly, man. So I really appreciate you guys listening and, uh, what's up Brittany? You want to say something? Yeah. Maybe you guys have some ideas about how you've built community, where you are. Maybe you have some helpful experiences or tips that can add to the conversation.
So share those two or some risks that you're taking so we can celebrate you. Oh, is that good? All right, man. All right, till next time y'all choose him podcast, we out .